The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
