I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
