it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
