I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
