but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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