i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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