Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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