I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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