Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
