carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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