HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize