I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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