wakey wakey hands off snakey
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize