You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
