i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
