My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
