so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
