You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
