SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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