her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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