It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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