I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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