So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
