I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
