Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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