when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
