dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
