PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
