i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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