I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Green mimosas i think yes
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
