I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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