trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
