Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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