Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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