She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
