big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
