8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
