He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
