I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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