im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
