using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
