we're blogging at a bar
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
