I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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