is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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