Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize