he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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