well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We need a shit load of segways right now
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
