I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
