Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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