our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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