He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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