another moral hangover. fuck.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
