god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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