Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
