At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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