I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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