i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
