first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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