You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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