quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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